Tired of being tired. Lately it seems as though any action taken is so I can muddle through the day. It’s kinda like racing on a stationary bicycle. I stay in this holding pattern waiting for something to change. Geez how depressing.
still waiting…
Nothing changes by itself. I know this, yet I’m not acting. What is wrong with sameness? Nothing at all except that with monotony, personal growth dies.
It’s easy and comfortable. However, that’s not what I am about. I am the queen (of lobsters, and…) reinvention. I have this recurring theme of development and reshaping my life.
reality check
Where have I positively affected change in my life?
- owned and operated a small business when I had absolutely no idea what I was doing
- closed the business when it was time and went back to school as an adult
- earned 2 degrees after turning 40
- started this blog even though I never considered myself a writer
- discovered that I am indeed a mermaid
- discovered I am also a budding burlesque dancer
I could go on, but I get the picture. If I did it before, there is absolutely no reason I can’t continue on the stream (I like streams so much better than paths) to self-improvement self-fulfillment.
Great. What next?
One of the newsletters I subscribe to is from Chris Brogan. He is an inspiration to many and frankly, I enjoy the dose of reality/positive vibes I get from his weekly correspondence.
Something about this weeks letter hit me as he wrote about laying the foundations for the upcoming year. Resolutions are not my style but I still crave improvement.
After a couple of emails, Chris gave me an assignment in order to get started. Homework?? Change takes work, which is something I am good at.
1.) Blank sheet of paper. What I want most in life is more _____. What I’m most willing to sacrifice to get it is _________. What I’m not willing to do any longer is ________. What these previous decisions tell me rules out _______ .
OOF! Looks like this is going to be more difficult than originally thought. Do I begin with the personal stuff, businessy agenda or both? What is too much? Is it enough?
put self-doubt aside
Something deep inside screams I should commence from the inside-out. When I accept my reality, the possibility for development unfolds. Without acknowledging this, everything is bullshit.
Acceptance is not resignation. Just because it is my current reality, doesn’t mean it has to be my future too. It’s that whole living in the present thing. Again with the spirituality! I can’t seem to avoid it no matter what.
homework
Hmmm…wonder if I am avoiding the assignment by over-analyzing it? Probably. It is time to kiss the day hello, and get going. There are no wrong answers. No one is keeping score.
kissing the day hello
If your life isn’t exactly as you imagine it should be, join me by taking out your own sheet of paper. What do you want most in life? What are you willing to sacrifice to achieve it? It’s all up to you.
